"...i'll wake up numb; about a minute passes before it starts. usually in the stomach, all the way up the middle, to the heart. it burns like a fucking forest fire. my brain never stops, either. good memories trigger sharp shooting pains, while bleak speculations and visions of the future shatter all hope. constant worry and paranoia. it doesn't end. sometimes it fades, if i walk in a figure 8 pattern for a while -- but it always returns, that fire."